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Dear beloved so and so: Anaphora/Aporia: "He was wanton, he was lascivious, he was faithless, and worse, he was unkind. Of what shall I first complain?" Antonomasia: Hey, Casanova, How's your new friend? Antithesis: Love is an ideal; hatred is a reality. Bdelygmia/Synathroesmus: He's a fickle, selfish, immature, callous, overindulged, egotistical Mama's boy.
Apophasis: I won't even mention his hypocrisy.
Epizeuxis: Fuck you, fuck you,
fuck you.
Epiplexis: Have you no remorse?
Simile: He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him
crow.
Epiphora: When he was a child, he spoke as a child, he understood as
a child, he thought as a child.
Paronomasia: Fucker, fucker, fucker, fucks her.
Isocolon: "The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted
our spoons."
Polyptoten: His was an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired...
Polysyndeton: We lived and laughed and loved and left.
Asyndeton: He came. He saw. He conquered. He saw. He conquered.
He came.
Anthypophora: "What is honor? A word. What is in that word honor?
What is that honor? Air - a trim reckoning! Who hath it? He that died
a Wednesday. Did'th he feel it? No. Dot'h he hear it? No. 'Tis insensible
then? Yea, to the dead. But will it not live with the living? No. Why?
Detraction will not suffer it. Therefore I'll none of it. Honor is a
mere scutcheon - and so ends my catechism."
Tapinosis/Meiosis: Cunt chaser.
Ethopoeia: I feel your pain.
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OTHER
McSWEENEY'S STORIES
Twelve Minutes Over Reykjavík by Sarah Mason and John Pull |